I still feel like I’m in a straightjacket, worried as I am about where the next mood swing will take me. I feel unsure of myself, that’s probably the best way to put it right now.
I had a good chat with my mum today. She’s being exceptionally supportive with all of the stuff I’ve thrown her way in the last few weeks and keeps reiterating that I’m making the right choices in opening up and getting help. She also pushes me to be open in general, not to hide from anyone what I’m dealing with, not to be ashamed etc. It’s all welcome support, and good advice.
I admitted that I can’t face being 100% truthful to her or friends about what exactly goes on in my head. I don’t have a problem talking to a counsellor though, which is good as hopefully soon I’ll be seeing one regularly.
I agreed that I’ll let my mum help me with my debts and contact all my creditors and letting them all know where I’m at right now and putting in place repayment schedules etc. for the future. I’ve looked up help I can get from the citizens advice bureau too.
Hopefully in the next couple of days I’ll relax a little because like I say, I feel a little unsure and quite empty at the moment.