I don’t know why or understand the days where I veer from happy and assured down to anxious and overall despair and back again multiple times within a day, and I couldn’t confidently specify exactly how often it happens, but it happened today and no doubt it will again. I know it happens often enough for me not to consider it rare. I’ll obviously track it closely from now on.
I recognised another emotion that I think I can place hand in hand with these periods of rapid change and it is a sense of impending doom. It’s a real powerful sensation and for the time it lasts it takes a vice like grip of your concentration and focuses it on this unknown, but definitely cataclysmic in nature and seeminly imminent happening.
Man, I’ve really let the cat out of the bag in terms of revealing the craziness this week huh. Fuck it haha.
The only other thing to report is that this evening I went out for dinner with one of my best mates at a Brazilian buffet place all the way over in Hackney in East London (I live in Croydon which is South). He had a groupon voucher for two free meals and kindly let me use the other one. I mention it because I’m kinda getting the hang of socializing without drinking, and am definitely used to avoiding drink completely, drink being one of the unhealthy coping mechanisms I used to abuse, but I’ll talk about that properly in a post tomorrow because right now I’m about ready to hit the hay. Needless to say the buffet was awesome though.